the sensual movement blog

for Etta

01/20/2012 13:34:00

Never asking...

Always knowing...

Silently...

Thinking the same thoughts...

And smiling...inside...

that's my Sunday kind of love

Never off beat/late...

Always on time...

Musically in sync...

Playing the same tune...

In harmony...as one...

that's my Sunday kind of love

Rising...

Melting...

Coming...together

Interwined...

Understanding each/the other...

Physically, mentally, spiritually...comfortably...

that's my Sunday kind of love

have you enjoyed being a woman lately?

01/11/2012 03:25:00

Take this post as a reminder to enjoy your(woman)self this year! Take pleasure in the joys of femininity and womanhood, whatever that means to you!

Let me share with you a story that allowed me to realize the things that it means to me: when I was younger, I always looked forward to the day when I would become an adult woman; that included my physical maturation (my breasts and my “need to shave”) and my personal independence (my ability to stay up as late as I wanted, my own place, my ability to make my own decisions from the food I ate to the sex I had). My best friend, my sister and I had big plans as to how we would be strong, sexy and sassy women when we grew up…one funny thing I remember was that we agreed that when we got married, we would swap recipes to “cook” for our spouses; however, these were not just ordinary recipes, they were lessons on how to cook in the kitchen AND the bedroom. I realize now that one of the ways that we defined who we were as women was twofold: 1) an ongoing sharing and bonding with our womenfriends in community and 2) an ability to enrich our relationships with our partners. I also realize now that, these days, that #2 is sometimes taboo to say. I know… I myself believe that we should first define ourselves outside of our relationships with anyone else. Having said that, I also believe that, as social beings, our lives can be enriched by others in our lives, particularly those that participate in our lives in special, unique, intimate and meaningful ways.

From my womenfriends to my male friends and especially my lover, their attention and inspiration are integral to how I enjoy being me, a woman. Attention? That’s obvious. Inspiration? Let me explain a little more about that.

Inspiration defined – “the action or power of moving the intellect or emotions”; “stimulation of the mind and emotions to a high level of activity.” (Merriam-Webster online and freedictionary.com)

As an emotional, intellectual being (or vice versa), I strive to have my intellect and my emotions “stimulated” and “moved.” My goal with my womenfriends, male friends and (again, especially) lover is to be so moved in my enjoyment of life, intellectually, emotionally and as a woman. I can only speculate that this looks/feels different for a man (having never been a man); but I can say that I enjoy the exclusiveness of GNOs (girls’ nights out), the maternal urges (when I see/interact/play with children), and, of course, the pleasure (and power) I receive from (and give with) my female organs, to name a few ;-). My lover? He has a unique and special place…he “inspires” me to be the “most”/ “best version”/”next level” of all of the things that I attribute to my womanhood/femininity. In this way, he plays a special role in stimulating/moving me to the next level of enjoyment in being a woman.

Now that I am here, at this “grown-ass woman” place, I still marvel at my breasts (how excited was I to find out that massaging the front of my own body was “recommended” by Eastern schools of natural health?), my “hair everywhere” (I have even learned to embrace that one hair that keeps popping up on my chin ;-)) and my unlimited independence (with the rare exception of something I feel I HAVE to do so I’m not rude). I still SO enjoy doing things with my woman friends: hanging out for girl’s night out (or in), catching up on the latest gossip and each other’s lives (and loves), working (or acting) out, playing (I’m getting together a group of ladies for doubledutch this weekend!) and just having a good time! And I still love to indulge myself as much as possible in the attention and inspiration that my lover can provide (yes, lord!)!

There are a million reasons why you should enjoy being a woman today and every day…it can be easy to take it for granted…re/discover your unique reasons and celebrate at least one reason every day!

the post-xmas wish list

01/04/2012 06:16:00

We are always inspired by the New Year and its promise of new experiences and opportunities to do new things and create new habits. In addition, we know there is nothing like anticipation to create excitement and positive expectations!

We recommend combining inspiration and anticipation to make for a great new habit in the New Year! Here's how to create it for yourself in 4 steps!!!

Step 1: Think about how much time you can set aside monthly to do something fun and/or new. Make some time - whether it is 10 minutes, 1 hour or a couple of hours. Set aside that time in your mind and/or (if you're like us and need to) your calendar.

Step 2: On 12 separate slips of paper, write down 12 activities that you love to do and/or would like to do more and/or new activities that would like to try. These should be activities that you can complete in the time you have set aside in Step 1. NOTE: Be creative; think out of the box but make sure you can do them with only a month's notice AND that you can complete them within that month's allocated time - the activities could be based around your body (Examples: fitness activities, sexual positions, recipes), your home (Examples: home improvement, gardening, cleaning), your entertainment (movies, plays, comedy shows), your personal re/discovery (books, magazines, classes), or anything else that comes to mind. Have fun with it!

Step 3: Fold and shuffle the slips of paper and keep them in a specified location.

Step 4: Each month, pick a slip of paper and random and DO that activity. No ifs, ands or buts, just do it! For bonus points, change Step 1 as follows: define the length of time for a short, medium and long duration activity. Then execute Step 2 for each type of duration (that means you should have 36 activities total). Now you have more choices AND you can be flexible based on the time you have each month!

Think of this as your post-xmas wish list that will give you the gift of re/discovery every month!

best laid plans...

12/15/2011 01:26:00

you came

to do it to me

then leave...

you left me/wanting/you

in every way

my imagination stretching

my inspiration soaring

my body aching

making it harder/to let go

damn you

for touching me/like that

for k/needing me/like that

for fucking/wanting me/like that

then leaving me/like this

now i am just confused

about

me wanting

us fucking

you leaving

(best)

you came

(laid)

to do it to me

(plans)

then leave?

a meditation on meditation…

10/02/2011 13:40:00

I have never understood why some people say they “can’t” meditate. Never one to rigidly follow a particular religious dogma, similarly, I do not believe there is a right or wrong way to “meditate.” Meditation, as defined in Merriam-Webster online, “a discourse intended to express its author’s reflections or to guide others in contemplation”. As a unique individual, there is likely a unique way you express, reflect or contemplate, and so meditation can take many forms. From breathing to chanting, from moving to still, your choice of meditation is just that, your choice. I do believe, however, that as sentient, sensual beings, we can all benefit greatly from meditation because it allows us a time and space to think, feel and be without a specific purpose or pressure. Ironically, it is often in that time and space where we can find our purpose, passion or greater understanding.

Try it today: find the meditation technique that is right for you.

Good ingredients?

1) A time and place to be by yourself

2) An activity that can be done without too much thinking – this includes breathing, repetitive chants, poses or exercises, coloring or doodling and even writing (as stream of consciousness)

3) Relaxing sounds or scents – this includes music, nature sounds, candles, incense

Explore and try practices such as yoga, tai-chi or qi gong, writing practices such as journaling before you go to bed or first thing in the morning…remember, there is nothing to lose and so much to gain so explore!

Also, if you have a unique meditation technique that works for you, please share with us - someone else might benefit from something you have tried!

should we call it the million women strut?

06/26/2011 23:20:00

This past Friday night, the girls got together for a girls' night out. It was long overdue and we were all looking forward to it. In fact, we always look forward to it once it's on our calendars; it's just getting it scheduled that takes some effort. And, as always, when we go out, I marvel at how wonderful my girls are…what wonderful things they are doing in business and in the community, their senses of humor and sensitivity, and, last but not least, their fantastic fashion. We always have such a great time!

The evening went something like this…After starting off with a celebratory drink at my house, we drove to the restaurant. We intentionally parked far from the restaurant so that we could strut (not walk, strut) from the car to the restaurant (one of my girlfriends, the designated driver, was rolling her fiancée’s (known as Big Daddy’s) car so we were able to take one car). With our short skirts, clingy dresses, silky shirts, fishnets and heels, we talked, laughed and strutted down the sidewalk like the girls from Sex and the City, enjoying the looks we got from both men and women as we passed. That was when I first thought, what if there were other groups of women like us all doing the same thing?! It would be FANTASTIC!

As we entered the restaurant, we let the manager know right away that we were going to be a fun group! Trying out a new restaurant, we ate family style, sharing and tasting one another’s food and wine choices. We continued to laugh, compliment and catch each other up on the latest work issues, interesting activities and love interests. Again, I thought to myself: what if there were other women doing this at the same time?! Hi FIVE!

After dinner, we saved room for a dessert trip to the local sorbet joint, open late; after sampling a few flavors, we bought five pints to share back at my place, sending a post on facebook about what fun we were having. At my place, we kicked off our shoes, I passed out pairs of socks and we drank more wine and ate ice cream and cookies sitting around the table. At some point, I realized we hadn’t taken our usual picture. I ran to get the camera and we captured the moment! That was when I resolved that the sensual movement should play a part in supporting women in scheduling a specific night that is all about them and a fun, relaxing, supportive and fashionable girls’ night out - the idea for WOW National Girl’s Night Out was born!

Join us in your city by getting your girls together for the 1 annual WOW (We Own the World) National Girl’s Night Out on Saturday, July 23. WOWTM National Girl’s Night OutTM is an opportunity for women to do something we don’t do often enough, celebrate ourselves, our beauty AND our strength, looking our best and sharing a great experience with other women. This is about US celebrating US TOGETHER. What do you have to do to join and show your support?

First, check (or search) the comments on this blog post to see if other women in your area have posted a location in your city; if not, be the first, just be sure to include your city name so that other women can search! It can be anywhere – even if it’s the local burger joint or a train station, rock your best outfit with your best accessory, your smile!
Then, get ready to rock the local runways (i.e. the streets) with those shoes, dresses, pantsuits or any other outfit you’ve been dying to wear and haven’t had a chance. Cut the tags off that outfit you bought and haven’t yet had a chance to wear OR get something new! Get your Carrie, Samantha, Miranda or Charlotte on – whichever fits you best!
Forward this email to your girls to make sure they mark their calendars too!
Last, there is only one rule – like the million man march, we want to represent the positive side of womanhood…so on July 23, every woman should be the first to compliment and the last to criticize – with lots of laughter and lots of compliments (with those you know and those you don’t), let’s show the world what women can do together!

Hope to see you OUT strutting on July 23! The purpose? The sensual movement believes that if women are happy, the world is a better place! And women are happier when they are surrounded by the positive, unique, diverse beauty and solidarity of womanhood! Remember, this is only being sent through email! We want to see how many women we can reach through our mutual (electronic) circles and show just how powerful the circle of women can be!

this is a laughing matter

11/29/2010 02:20:00

when was the last time you laughed? REALLY laughed? No, not just a smile or a chuckle, but a gut-busting, bring you to tears, ROTFL kind of laugh. Hopefully, it wasn’t too long ago.

Why should you laugh? Because laughter really is the best medicine. Not only have studies proven that it actually helps our bodies relax (it helps control stress hormones and alleviate pain), laughter has also been shown to a great workout (know how your sides can hurt after a good laugh?!?!?). Laughing more (including being able to laugh at yourself) also can actually make you happier, improving all of your relationships and reducing feelings of anger and hostility. And the benefits don’t stop there… it not only makes you feel good, it’s contagious so it makes others feel good too! And, get this, it doesn’t even have to be real to start for you to reap the benefits. Try it…just start laughing…you would be surprised what a little chuckle will do for how you (and those around you) feel.

Having difficulty? Don’t worry, studies show that on average, we go from laughing somewhere between 300 and 3000 times per day as small children to laughing between 15 and 20 times per day as adults. We just don’t laugh as much as we used to as children or as much as we used to years ago. A participant in one of my women’s playshops highlighted this difference when she revealed that her son asked her why she doesn’t laugh… Here are 10 suggestions to help you laugh more…put some to work today!

1) Do a laughter audit for the next 3 days and then challenge yourself laugh one more time for the next 4.

2) Intentionally turn off doom and gloom and go to a good comedy movie or show.

3) Surround yourself with funny, positive people who laugh a lot (small children can be very handy for this!).

4) Join or start a laughter club. (http://www.laughteryoga.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=457&Itemid=282)

5) Record things that make you laugh. Go back to them when you need a laugh.

6) Call a friend with whom you can share a funny story from your past.

7) Be proactive - Find something daily to laugh about.

8) Make a point to watch very funny movies or TV programs that really make you laugh a couple times a week. (I highly recommend a classic silly comedy like Airplane or Naked Gun, any of Bill Cosby, Richard Pryor or Eddie Murphy’s movies or stand-ups.)

9) Play fun games that induce laughing. Charades is great for this!

10) Just laugh – even if you fake a laugh, chances are you will start to laugh for real (if only because you sound funny doing it)! Either way, you still reap the benefits!

And here are a few links to support your laughing matter...

http://www.bellylaughday.com/

http://www.laughteryoga.org/

http://health.howstuffworks.com/mental-health/human-nature/other-emotions/laughter.htm

dinner is best served hot

10/24/2010 02:31:00

my pilot light was out

you lit it with your
long, kitchen match

the stove is ready

now

let me cook something for you...

what the wait is worth

10/21/2010 01:47:00

Remember that Heinz ketchup commercial (anticipation…anticipa-a-tion…it’s making me wait)? It was all about something that was “worth the wait.” For as long as I can remember, I have always enjoyed looking forward to something almost as much as the thing itself (that I was looking forward to). The wait itself was even more exciting especially if I knew how much I would enjoy the thing I was waiting for. And, ironically, the more I wanted it, the longer the wait seemed to last (so good thing I enjoyed it, huh?).

Examples of the worth of the wait include studies that show that anticipation of sleep benefits our heart more than sleep actually does (anticipation of sleep benefits heart - http://www.jyi.org/news/nb.php?id=1307), and that thinking about revenge stimulates the brain but that following through doesn’t improve mood (revenge may be all in the anticipation - http://www.latimes.com/health/la-he-revenge-20101018,0,2305011.story)…

I found the following way of describing anticipation in Wikipedia: “ being enthusiastic, an emotion involving … in considering some expected or longed-for good event, or irritation at having to wait. A name for pleasured anticipation is excitement. Anticipation can be shown in many ways; for example, some people seem to smile uncontrollably during this period, …. It is not uncommon for the brain to be so focused on an event, that the body is affected in such a way…”

In today’s world of instant gratification and convenience, we are often too impatient to wait for anything. Have we lost something as a result? If we lose the wait, what is left? It's like the holidays...if every day was a holiday, it would get pretty boring...part of makes a holiday is that it is a break from the norm AND, as a result, we can have fun looking forward to it.

Try it more often...give yourself or someone else something you know they will anticipate, look forward to. And don’t just make it worth the wait, make the wait worth something.

touch me, ease me

09/23/2010 00:58:00

For many years, I have read various articles discussing the power of physical touch to provide all kinds of benefits from faster growth in premature babies to improved immune systems and accelerated wound healing. In fact, when we are first born, touch is one of our most highly developed senses. As we and our other senses mature, it seems we lose some of that instinctual ability to give and receive through touch. Given its potentially beneficial effects, shouldn’t we be trying to maintain and continue to develop our sense of touch as we get older? Instead, it seems as if we get further and further away from touching. (Especially with our latest technologies (e.g, email, texting) we don’t even have to talk to one another – don’t get me started.)

I am an advocate of integrating touch more into our everyday lives for some selfish reasons. My parents were physically aloof when I was growing up so I think I sometimes crave touch because I did not get much of it when I was younger. I used to tell my boyfriend that the best thing he could do when I was upset (mad, sad or otherwise) is give me a big, long (genuine – not the church hug with the butt stuck out or the dead fish hug with the arms limply around you) hug (try it guys, it usually works). In today’s society, we can go a long period of time without really meaningfully touching another person (not including others on public transportation or any accidental oops brushes). Do you ever find yourself just wanting someone to touch and be touched? You’re not alone. When I talked to one of my friends about this, she asked “Can’t you just touch yourself?” Well, yes, you/I/we can but let’s be real, whether for a casual hug or something much more intimate, there is nothing like the touch of another person.

Hug your friend next time you see them (even if it was just yesterday), when you’re shaking someone’s hand, grab their elbow (it makes it warmer); give your children and/or family members a big hug just because. And, if you have someone you’re intimate with or interested in, it’s easy to do mostly because you want to anyway, just reach out and touch…anywhere!

If you can be addicted to touch, then call me a touch addict. I want to be touched…and deeply. Don’t you?